Right about now every year I start getting anxious and scatter-brained. I begin wishing I had started months ago on Christmas and on getting that family photo taken. And then I panic a little (I know, silly) when I realize that we will not have a decent photo to send with a Christmas greeting because we won't be with Karlie before the holidays and all our other attempts are not on a couch in the middle of a field; you know, not that great. That and I refuse to be in most photos we send out. Then I think about all the grading that is ahead of me until right before Christmas and look at my completely trashed, kind-of-decorated-for-the-holidays house and wonder how? How am I going to pull this Christmas thing off and be peaceful and jolly?
(Best photo with all 7 of us. Check out the lovely back drop, grill, kitchen rug, and all. At least Nora is not eating the stuffed snake in this one. Do not be surprised if you see this photo again this month.)
Then I think, what Christmas greeting? A letter to my family and friends detailing how I have most likely actually gained weight since Eve was born and how Theo has been a handful this year and I don't quite know what to do, and how Adrian thinks that letters should have jet packs on them. Oh, and how Nora did not grow much. And how our car was totaled. And how we work all the time in hopes of making up for the last two years. And how Adrian had cavities. And how I wear the same pair of jeans everyday. And how I don't have cute stockings with my kids' names neatly sewn on them, but rather those cheap, fuzzy, red ones. And how I am very impatient.
But then I think of my wonderful family and friends. Of my beautiful, funny, amazing (cavities and all) kids. And by now we all know that perfection does not exist. And that's not what it is about. What is different this year is that I am not concerned about getting everything done. What matters is the time I spend with people I love. And those loved-ones I will not see are constantly on my mind.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am to have the family and friends that I do.
To anyone reading this blog, thank you for being a part of my life. You most likely know me pretty well if you have stopped by here. So many of you have profoundly impacted me. You have no idea.
Have a wonderful, memorable, and happy holiday season! Cheap, fuzzy stockings and all!
7 comments:
Jenny, I love you with all my heart!! You are the best mother, wife, SISTER, auntie and friend. I love this post! By the way, I drove past the Sister Wives house last night. Asked if some of them could come help me out. HAHA
I've been gaining weight since Alana too. Since she's 20 months, it's not good.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE you post today because I totally could have written it! Jenny, you do a beautiful job and I wish I could be more like you! I need a few sister wives too Callie :)
Jenny! I love your picture and your post....I can totally relate!!! I miss you and your family. Please come home soon! :)
I'm a little extra emotional today but your post just about made me cry. I'm so grateful to have such a true honest friend in you! I'm having so many of the same feelings you are having and you expressed them so well. I always feel like I'm the only one going through whatever it is I'm going through. I forget that even though so many people put on the show of perfection we're really all just trudging through life the best we can. And Thank Goodness for family and good friends who love and understand no matter what. Love you Jen! Miss you too!
Love you Jen - forget the couch in the middle of the field (and the balloons too) picture - I much prefer the real one you have. As for our pictures this year - so not going to happen. So, just imagine our little family - Isaac pulling down our Christmas tree, Tori reading, Evan constantly being sick, Jeremy working on finishing school and me becoming uncomfortably more pregnant w/ each passing day. There - that will be our christmas joy to you! Love you again!
I love your post too Jenny (and your picture) - thanks for keeping it real :) You're right, it's just about the people we love! I hope you get your grading done without too much trouble and I hope we can get together soon!!
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